Is Sole Custody the Best Option for Your Family?

Have you ever been so frustrated with your ex that you considered pursuing full custody? Before making that decision, you need to carefully consider the monetary and mental costs of battling for custody.

There are two types of sole custody. Sole legal custody involves one parent having all decision-making authority for the child. Generally, this is the type of custody that may be generically referred to as sole custody. Sole physical custody means that the child will live with one parent with the other parent usually receiving visitation.

Courts favor a form of custody known as joint legal custody. This means that both parents are able to jointly make decisions on behalf of the child. The other type of joint custody is joint physical custody which involves the child living half of the time with one parent and half of the time with the other parent. The main reason why courts usually award joint legal custody is due to the presumption that both parents should be involved in the child's life. Noncustodial parents who get to parent their children tend to remain more involved that those that do not have joint legal custody.

Before a court will grant sole custody, there needs to be evidence that the other parent is unfit. Usually the noncustodial parent is granted visitation, and there are requirements for the other parent to provide information on the child's life such as education, medical and religious concerns. Unless the other parent does not want to remain involved with the child, it is quite hard to convince a court to not allow a parent to see his or her child, even if there has been documented abuse to the child. A parent who is found to be unfit may be granted supervised visitation and given a court order to attend a treatment program with the eventual goal of increasing visitation and parental participation if the parent complies with the court's orders.

The best interests of the children is usually the criteria that the judge will use when reviewing your case. Since the definition of best interests is not set in stone, there is no guarantee that a sole custody award will be granted.

Certain situations will make an award of sole legal custody more likely, though not guaranteed. Child abuse or neglect is a possible case where the judge is more likely to make a full custody award. Since the practice of one parent making false abuse accusations in custody battles has became more prevalent, you will need solid proof of abuse. Some judges have been known to give custody to the abuser, believing that the other parent was making unfounded accusations.

Incarceration of a parent is sometimes enough reason to give sole custody to the other parent, particularly if the sentence is for a long period. Mental illness or abuse of substances may also be cause to give full custody to the other parent.

Domestic violence can sometimes cause the court to grant custody to the abused parent. But, judges may not consider a history of violence to be reason to deny legal custody if the children were not affected by the violence.

If your ex does not see the children, you may have a chance to get sole custody. But, many exes suddenly decide they want to be involved when they receive court papers, which will more than likely result in joint legal custody.

Before filing for sole custody, think about the costs involved. From a financial perspective, your outlay could easily run into the tens of thousands. A long court fight is extremely stressful and could result in negative health effects for you. Your ex may use the children as weapons to get back at you which can cause emotional damage your kids. You may become the victim of violence from the ex or someone acting on his or her behalf. Some exes will even kidnap the children.

Joint legal custody does not necessarily mean that you will have to tolerate your ex's antics. Sometimes, decision making is split between the parents by category so both parents don't have to agree on any courses of action. A parenting coordinator could be assigned to your case to serve as a mediator, so you don't have to directly confront your ex.

Think carefully before making a decision to file for sole custody. Unless you are in one of the situations described above where you have a good chance at winning full custody, the time and expense of a custody battle probably won't be worth it to you.

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About the Author

Annie Parron is a single parent of seven years. For other dating articles by Annie, visit http://www.singleparentspot.com. Co-parenting with someone who is mentally ill or a substance abuser? Visit http://www.coparentingnightmare.com