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Some of the main ‘considerations’ that should be resolved before marriage are listed below.
Children
Do you want children, and does your partner agree? When would you want to start your family? Unplanned moves may be adventurous fun but also expensive and disastrous. A child is a big responsibility, and how would you care for him or her? You need to sort these issues out before moving on. This is not just discussion; it has to be a commitment from both sides.
Financial Management
Couples often bicker over money management. It is not as simple as tossing a coin to pay the restaurant bill -- marriage is more serious than the frivolous expenses of a Saturday evening date. One of you may even go out of work in case you want to stay home and raise a family. Don’t let the sad fights over the purse come between you; work it out beforehand.
Housekeeping and Chores
The home is no more the woman’s domain alone, and the office not an exclusive male kingdom. You need to share the chores between the two of you. Some amount of housekeeping is required no matter how small your apartment is. These are everyday issues that need sorting out and gallant volunteering on both sides.
Health Histories
Do not feel angry or ashamed to go for a medical check-up before marriage and ask your partner to do the same. If any of you has a history of emotional disturbances, addictions and other bad habits, come clear before marriage.
Equality of Affection
Youth won’t last forever, but affection would. How strong are your mutual ties? Does your partner value you equally, and can you reciprocate wholeheartedly? Do not delude yourself for the sake of the moment; you may be taking a wrong turn for all life.
Physical Needs, Preferences, Fears, Stigma
We are human beings and have our physical urges. Some of us have our own set of needs and preferences, hidden fears, and strange stigma. These are deep-rooted emotions and need to be taken out of the closet if we are to survive together in the long run.
Television in the Bedroom
Will there be a television in the bedroom, how long will it be on, and who will have ownership of the remote? This is a great example of the typical humdrum issue that can snowball into a marriage wrecker down the years.
A Good Listener
How good a listener are you? Do you really care to pay attention and respond honestly to your partner? Talking matters, and all couples who have had long and happy marriages are great communicators. Learn to read your partner like a book, so that you reach a perfect chemistry.
Religion, Morality, Ethics and Beliefs
Religion is an issue that can crack relations. Sort out your ethical and moral differences, leave space for privacy of opinions, and decide how you will groom your child. Try not to encroach into each other’s belief systems -- your relation is the greatest belief that you should hold sacred.
Whose Friends
Do you have common friends? Do your partner’s friends irritate you? Do you want to share past friendships together? Don’t let these break you up later; sort them out at first go.
Attitude towards Parents
Do you hate your in-laws? Then speak out about it before you marry their son or daughter. If you feel your partner’s parents are too interfering, don’t wait till you walk down the aisle; you need to get this issue cleared no matter how unpleasant it is.
An Annoying Family
You discover after marriage that your partner has an endless stream of near and distant cousins who will drop in everyday. These situations make great comedy on screen, but may wreak havoc in real life. Get the family-related issues cleared up before it is too late.
What can’t be Given up
You don’t want to give up painting, or your lone morning walks or snoring in bed. No matter how serious or insignificant, clarify what will still remain the same after marriage.
Career Moves and Relocation
What will you do if any of you has to shift for a better career opportunity? An important decision, and spare it some planning now.
Commitment and Challenges
How strong is your mutual commitment? Can you surmount all challenges to your relation together? Test yourselves now when you have the scope.
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