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My Friends
BUILD A FOUNDATION THAT FOSTERS COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Autor: devorah :: Views: 138 ::
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We all know the scenario of the uncomfortable, nervous parent who one day decides he is going to sit his son down for the proverbial talk on the "birds and the bees". The father is all flustered and beats around the bush, never coming to the point or saying anything of substance. Why is Dad so flustered? Aside from the fact that many of us are uncomfortable discussing "the birds and the bees" with anyone let alone our children, the fact remains that this Dad has probably not had a lot of experience having many "heart to heart" discussions with his son. When it comes time to have a really "important" talk, this Dad has not had a pool of experiences to draw upon in which he has practiced communicating with his son. How can one feel comfortable discussing the really important things that come up in life unless you have had a set of experiences in which you were able to practice this skill in a comfortable setting?
Let me give you an example from my own experience. My son Michael and I were volunteering one day at the local domestic abuse shelter. That day our job was to sort various boxes of supplies in the stockroom and put the items on the appropriate shelves. There were many, many boxes filled with all sorts of toiletry supplies, clothing and toys. Michael, age 9, would pull various items from the boxes and I would help him find the correct shelf on which to place the item. We spent quite awhile doing this, chatting pleasantly about this and that. All of a sudden Michael exclaimed to me, "Hey, Mom! This looks like sale day at K-Mart!" As funny as this statement may sound, I knew that this exclamation afforded me a perfect teaching moment with my son.
"Hey, Michael!" I casually retorted to my son. "Why do you think that it looks so much like sale day at K-Mart here? Look at all those shelves filled with shampoo over there. And here are boxes filled with toothpaste and toothbrushes. Over there are all sizes of pajamas and clothing. Why do you think they have all this stuff here? You know, Michael, when people come to the shelter here, often times they have left their homes very quickly. Someone is hitting them or their children and is going to hurt them. Many times they come here with only the clothes that they are wearing. Many times they stay here for a while. They don't come with a suitcase full of stuff. They have only the little bit of things that they could carry here. So they need toothpaste and shampoo and changes of clothes. And you know, see that Christmas tree over there packed away in the corner? Some people have to leave their homes because it is too dangerous for them to be there. They may have to spend a holiday or a birthday here. How do you think that they feel having to do something like that?"
This volunteer experience afforded me a perfect educational moment with my son. I did not have to sit him down and bellow, "Son, sit down! I want to discuss with you the very important issue of domestic violence in our community!" Instead, in a very casual, comfortable way, I could talk with him using objects that he was familiar with and in language that he could understand about the realities of domestic violence in our community. I could ask him about his feelings and opinions. I could talk with him as a friend or a mentor. He could ask me my thoughts, and afterwards we could go out together and talk further over an ice cream cone at a local ice cream store.
Source: Free Articles
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